assholes

so i've been home for six hours, and i am slightly less enraged. it appears the longer i am away from douchebags, the happier i am.

you know, i was an overprivileged, petulant moron when i was younger. i like to think that because i was the child of immigrants, i was somehow more grounded than the other overprivileged, petulant morons i grew up with. but really, i wasn't. it took me moving to new york to really get it, and now i feel like i can kind of grasp the big picture of what's really important in our lives, and what kinds of sacrifices we should make for the greater good, and the people we love, etc etc. i guess it took awhile for me to get it, and i feel dumb about that. i knew i wasn't alone, though, after reading this passage in Thomas Frank's What's the Matter with Kansas? How Conservatives Won the Heart of America, in which Frank describes a big ass wake-up call he had during college:

"I finally learned about social class. Growing up in the Edenic preserves the local elite had fashioned for themselves had anesthetized me to the system that made them an elite in the first place. I honestly thought that Mission Hills, with its castellated palazzi, was normal and that other places were the aberration. I played with the tots of millionaires and convinced myself that America was a classless society, where all that mattered was ability and one's willingness to work."

substitute Glencoe for Mission Hills, and there was my life. he figured it out when he was 18. so, it took me until i was 22. i think figuring that out has pretty much shaped my entire worldview. it's not a huge thing, i guess, but it was my realization, and i worked to live my life accordingly. given that i no longer act like an overprivileged petulant moron, i'd like to think that most people, especially those that are older than me, would also at some point in their lives cease to act like overprivileged petulant morons.

apparently some people never figure out how fucking stupid and small their fucked up sense of ambition is. stupid motherfucking asshat nutsacks.

anyways. usually they don't bother me so much, but i guess i haven't completely let go of the douchebagginess that tainted my day. what is astounding to me is how contagious rage is. because it just started with the few douchebags. but then it spread ... and spread ... and i found myself surrounded by douchebags. they are everywhere. i can make lists, and lists, and lists of the douchebags i encountered in the past 24 hours. however, today, when fully enflamed by rage, and after having dealt with the douchebag suits running through grand central, the douchebag that really got my goat was the douchebag male sitting on 5 train that insisted on taking up the space of 3 people, during rush hour, when my goddamn feet were killing me and i'd already had to plow through 12 other douchebag standing in front of the goddamn subway door just to get on the train. really? put your legs together, slut. are your balls that sweaty that you need to keep your knees 36 inches apart? invest in some baby powder or i'll dig my 3-inch stiletto, invented by some other douchebag male, into your nutsack.

what a dick.

goodnight.