my elephant dream
two weeks ago, i had a dream that i was eating an elephant.
devouring an elephant.
i was in the jungle, kneeling over a massive elephant carcass. the ground all around me was covered in huge green leaves, enormous wet palmetto fronds and huge shiny banana leaves. the elephant was laying on them, like it was being served to me. it was bright, but overhead i couldn't see sun or sky, just a lush, dripping jungle canopy.
the elephant was laying on its left side, and i was crouched between its front legs and its head. and i am just ripping chunks out of this elephant with my hands and consuming it. i look up for a moment from the meat in my hand, just before i am about to bite down again and look back at the elephant body.
and it's gone. it's just bones. picked clean. huge elephant ribs, elephant legs, some bits of elephant skin around the body. and in my dream, i think to myself, "good. good. keep going. go."
and i turn to the head.
i kneel over, lift up the huge elephant ear, and consider the massive, majestic head in front of me. i run my hand over the elephant's cheek, pause just below the eye, and tear out a fistful of elephant. and there is elephant blood running down my arm and on my face and elephant flesh everywhere, and i have something like a satisfied moment, and i keep eating.
and that's my elephant dream.
now, suffice to say i've been pretty obsessed with my elephant dream lately. after my initial revulsion, fascination set in ... and i've found that others are equally fascinated.
G's take on my elephant dream:
"damn. eviscerating the elephant. you are insatiable ... you just can't be satisfied. choi the huntress."
C's take on my elephant dream:
"WHHHAT? who/what is the big elephant in the room that you are consuming? B? the relationship? like you're eating and eating so that eventually it will be gone, not really eating, but maybe that's symbolic of all the distractions through dating. and then eventually, B and your relationship with him - poof. gone. digested."
Y's take on my elephant dream:
"memories ... you don't want them but you don't want to forget them. you are hungry, maybe to move on and to remember all at once."
AZ says that your friends' interpretations of your dreams are often more reflective of what is going on in your life than your own interpretation. in other words, the people that know you may have more insight into your subconscious than you yourself do. so if you're curious, you should ask other people for their thoughts. and he, like those before him, gave me his.
have i mentioned that AZ is the best editor ever?
AZ's take on my elephant dream:
"you are at a watershed moment in your life. you are wading through a literal jungle right now. everything that you are going through, all of the changes in your life, the magnitude of everything that is happening, is a jungle. and you are out for survival. an elephant never forgets — and your subconscious is telling you never to forget these moments in your life, never forget how you are feeling, never forget what you are thinking, take it all in and devour it and store it away because you are going to need it later, even if you don't know why now. never forget who you are. and when you dive into the ear and the head, it is because you are listening, and need to remember everything you've heard, and because you are thinking, and you need to remember all of your thoughts. and yes, it is violent. because even though you may want to protect this beautiful animal, your subconscious is highly vested in your survival. and you need to do whatever you need to do right now in order to survive."
a watershed moment in my life. insatiable. hungry. distracted. surviving. and never wanting to forget.
hunh.
maybe all i really needed was for him to say it. because this morning, i woke up. i really woke up. i haven't felt this way in months. i literally feel like i just woke up to my life today. and by some completely undeserving lucky accident, my life is ... my life is filled with people and poetry and movement and anger and love and new york and writing and stories and action and thank god i have FINALLY WOKEN UP!!!!!
devouring an elephant.
i was in the jungle, kneeling over a massive elephant carcass. the ground all around me was covered in huge green leaves, enormous wet palmetto fronds and huge shiny banana leaves. the elephant was laying on them, like it was being served to me. it was bright, but overhead i couldn't see sun or sky, just a lush, dripping jungle canopy.
the elephant was laying on its left side, and i was crouched between its front legs and its head. and i am just ripping chunks out of this elephant with my hands and consuming it. i look up for a moment from the meat in my hand, just before i am about to bite down again and look back at the elephant body.
and it's gone. it's just bones. picked clean. huge elephant ribs, elephant legs, some bits of elephant skin around the body. and in my dream, i think to myself, "good. good. keep going. go."
and i turn to the head.
i kneel over, lift up the huge elephant ear, and consider the massive, majestic head in front of me. i run my hand over the elephant's cheek, pause just below the eye, and tear out a fistful of elephant. and there is elephant blood running down my arm and on my face and elephant flesh everywhere, and i have something like a satisfied moment, and i keep eating.
and that's my elephant dream.
now, suffice to say i've been pretty obsessed with my elephant dream lately. after my initial revulsion, fascination set in ... and i've found that others are equally fascinated.
G's take on my elephant dream:
"damn. eviscerating the elephant. you are insatiable ... you just can't be satisfied. choi the huntress."
C's take on my elephant dream:
"WHHHAT? who/what is the big elephant in the room that you are consuming? B? the relationship? like you're eating and eating so that eventually it will be gone, not really eating, but maybe that's symbolic of all the distractions through dating. and then eventually, B and your relationship with him - poof. gone. digested."
Y's take on my elephant dream:
"memories ... you don't want them but you don't want to forget them. you are hungry, maybe to move on and to remember all at once."
AZ says that your friends' interpretations of your dreams are often more reflective of what is going on in your life than your own interpretation. in other words, the people that know you may have more insight into your subconscious than you yourself do. so if you're curious, you should ask other people for their thoughts. and he, like those before him, gave me his.
have i mentioned that AZ is the best editor ever?
AZ's take on my elephant dream:
"you are at a watershed moment in your life. you are wading through a literal jungle right now. everything that you are going through, all of the changes in your life, the magnitude of everything that is happening, is a jungle. and you are out for survival. an elephant never forgets — and your subconscious is telling you never to forget these moments in your life, never forget how you are feeling, never forget what you are thinking, take it all in and devour it and store it away because you are going to need it later, even if you don't know why now. never forget who you are. and when you dive into the ear and the head, it is because you are listening, and need to remember everything you've heard, and because you are thinking, and you need to remember all of your thoughts. and yes, it is violent. because even though you may want to protect this beautiful animal, your subconscious is highly vested in your survival. and you need to do whatever you need to do right now in order to survive."
a watershed moment in my life. insatiable. hungry. distracted. surviving. and never wanting to forget.
hunh.
maybe all i really needed was for him to say it. because this morning, i woke up. i really woke up. i haven't felt this way in months. i literally feel like i just woke up to my life today. and by some completely undeserving lucky accident, my life is ... my life is filled with people and poetry and movement and anger and love and new york and writing and stories and action and thank god i have FINALLY WOKEN UP!!!!!
posted by Amy S. Choi at 10:19 AM
5 Comments:
She's awake guys!! STEAMROLL!!! =) I knew one day it'd just go *ding* in your consciousness and you'd be action-based, productive Choimomma once again! It's just a phase for you - consider yourself lucky!! xoxo
hunh...all that and i would've just guessed the dream meant "man...choi really likes meat." ;)
steamroll!!!!!!!!! watch out :)
and of course, i *do* like meat ... especially the chicago-style celery-salt hot dog kind. and the filet mignon medium rare kind. and the spicy sopressata kind. and the bulgogi/galbi/daejigogi kind. and i'll bet they'll all taste better when eaten while awake.
seriously guys. my food even tastes better today.
this is what the authority on all things, the INTERNET, says:
Dream symbol: elephant
Interpretation:
Something worth remembering
An old memory that has resurfaced
Endurance
Strength
Power
Being community orientated
Something in your life that is destructive, dangerous, overpowering or forceful
Something that is unwanted by you, a white elephant
A rare or valuable possession that is expensive to maintain, a white elephant
good lord. is it possible that ALL of those are true for me?! it feels like it.
my elephant = my everything
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